Three weeks after graduating high school, I got the phonecall no child ever wants to receive, no matter how young or old you are. My mom's bout with depression had finally ended, and our shameful family secret had been exposed.
Satan's lies had finally gotten the best of my mom, and my family was left to pick up the pieces. Feelings of anger, resentment, grief, guilt, jealousy, and depression overwhelmed my entire being over the next couple of years. Both my sister and my dad started new families, and both my grandmother and grandfather passed away. I felt as though my whole world had completely turned upside down, and I was left all alone to survive. I turned away from church. I turned away from family. I turned away from friends. I turned to anything and everything that would fill the pain that I faced each and every second of each and every day. Just as the prodigal son wasted away his life in wild living, I, too, lost myself the exact same way. After several years of living my life indulged in sinful pleasure, I had completely lost myself altogether. I no longer knew who I was. When I looked into the mirror, all I could see were the things that I hated about myself. I had no reason to wake up each morning; I had no ambition, no drive left in my weary soul. Thankfully, God looked upon his prodigal daughter with loving compassion, and He blessed me with a teaching job, in which He changed my entire outlook on life. He revealed to me that I was living a lifestyle of hypocrisy, so I slowly but surely began to change my ways. I attempted going to church, gave up my former selfish lifestyle, and I decided that since God had given me a passion that I hadn't felt in a very long time, I might as well go the next step and make it official. In August of 2009, I started graduate school and pursued a Masters Degree in Teaching. Needless to say, I had no time for anything else except for teaching school during the day, and attending grad-school at night. My weekends were spent studying and writing papers, trying to get some sleep whenever I could.
0 Comments
|