June 9, 2014 (2 am)
Preface: As I began writing in my prayer journal really early this morning, I initially started it off with praying for 2 friends. Then, I felt compelled to write, so words just began appearing: one, after another, after another… How long does it… {take for me to allow God to truly heal me and make me whole in Him?} PRAYER JOURNAL: MY PRAYER TO GOD Before I even finished writing this question, I feel that You have already confirmed how long it'll take to cleanse me from my "old" self and enable me to become whole, allowing You to form my new identity in Christ that you have intended for me to be. I now understand the value and importance of abiding in Your Word, allowing Your promises to manifest in my heart and soul so that I can be fully equipped to further Your Kingdom, at the place You have called me to do Your will and be Your hands and feet. I receive this truth over my life! I am feeling whole and complete, resting in this Truth tonight. I ask that when I begin to fall into the trap of my sinful nature that You would immediately allow Your Holy Spirit dwelling inside me to speak truth over my life. I ask that You will comfort me, oh Heavenly Father, when I am vulnerable and weak- when I long for desires of the flesh. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ God, I am moved to tears right now because I am scared to death, but from previous experience, I know that You have called me to be like Your disciples, drop my net, and at once follow You, God- to follow wherever Your Spirit is leading me. As I was writing ^ that, You brought to mind Uncle Tim's asking me to go with him to World Changers in July. It immediately made me feel annoyed because the only place I have ever really felt any desire to go is to Africa. When we were at the beach last summer, Bridget told me that she wanted to go to Africa with Uncle Don, and for the first time ever in my life, I actually felt like I, too, wanted to go on an international mission trip. Africa felt right. In my heart, I truly wanted to go this summer, but Bridget said that she would be ready in two years, so I agreed. God, You just brought to mind how Roger's daughter is so young, yet she has the desire to go on an international mission trip. She is leaving for Cuba in just a few hours. {Her team doesn't even know if their visas will be there when they get to Cuba, yet they are going anyways. This is a huge leap of faith- WOW!} So, now I am feeling like: …ok, maybe I will be willing to go to World Changers with Uncle Tim, but only if Aunt Robin goes... ... and now The Holy Spirit is convicting me this is the wrong reason to go (or not to go) on a mission trip- whether my aunt goes or not... My comfort is NOT God’s goal, lol! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Then, God told me WHERE He is wanting me to go.
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